The thought of self promotion makes me anxious. I will find anything to distract me. I will procrastinate with perfection, and like many of my female colleagues and friends we never really feel like we are enough.
(Don’t feel like reading, want to listen and multitask – press play!)
(A special Thank you to Ausmumprenuer)
Not smart enough, not enough experience, not enough education, not good enough to take our place and the table and contribute a solution to the problems that directly impact upon us.
So when my gorgeous and generous friend who just happens to be the Upstream Strategist Natalie Cartwright from Strategic Potential, nominated me for the AusMumprenuer Awards in the Woman Who Is Changing the World and Womens Champion category I was faced with the task of sharing my what and why along with my vision for the future.
The VISION : To do myself out of a job in five years, educating and empowering women to take back the control over their own lives, be independent and resilient whilst finding their own version of happy with the people they love.
My WHAT: Help victims of domestic violence and those misidentified as offenders gather and map the evidence of abuse, take protective measures to prevent violence and develop knowledge of the process and systems that are weaponised and used to disadvantage and intimidate them.
My WHY: I have investigated thousands of assaults, domestic abuse cases and incidents of violence involving family, witnessing first hand the impact on women, children and those disempowered by the attitudes of patriarchy in a family. I’ve faced up against angry men fuelled with resentment, triggered by rejection and willing to engage in violent revenge to process their emotions.
I have experienced the weaponisation of protective orders, the impact of a lack in investigation and have more often been left wondering who is at fault and what is the source of the conflict. It is the later of these that have lead me to create Australia’s first Private Investigation Agency for Domestic Violence and Abuse, helping those affected and abused. My personal and professional experiences have given me an intimate insight into the process and now I help victims to understand the complexity of our social network and systems designed to prevent violence and protect them.
What I do know is that the system has been set up to benefit those who work within its framework. Rules, Regulations, Legislation and Laws. Policy and Procedures have been carefully or recklessly, depending what side you are on, been developed to limit liability and create a process that identifies the risks and holds individuals accountable for the behaviour and choices. There is a power imbalance in the structure, forced compliance in the system and a focus on facts without regard to the impact.
Ultimately it can be accepted as ‘social conditioning’ that meets the expectations of the majority and protects the freedoms and rights of individual.
“My deep why is to give women the confidence to call out disrespectful attitudes, leave abusive relationships and use their voice to help others.”
My journey through the AusMumprenuer Award process clarified all of the above and gave me an opportunity to share it with a wonderful panel of judges who asked thoughtful questions, contributed to the brave conversations and offered their support to the purpose behind Upstream Investigations.
I was blown away by the achievements of the finalists, the calibre of women who appear so confident and assured of their what and why – but this is the I in P.I.P.
“IMPOSTER”
Everyday I speak with victims, caseworkers, counsellors, GP’s, lawyers and advocate who share their experiences and confirm what many often feel – the system is broken.
But who am I to do anything about it?
My answer is, I am the one to do something about it. I say it with a quiver in my voice, wondering if anyone will listen or take my advice. But it is Me, and those I’ve connected with along the way who are all doing their bit to make women and children FEEL safe. To help men understand how Womens’ Safety is different to mens’ and educate them about the attitudes, behaviours, communication styles and conversations that put them at risk.
“EDUCATION & ACCOUNTABILITY”
I have done the work on myself, re-identified and reeducated myself in the arts of negotiation, conflict resolution and detachment. I lead hard, uncomfortable and difficult conversations with confidence, amongst women who are looking for the roadmap to change. I step into the arena everyday and I’m on the ground doing the work, talking directly to those who feel lost, abandoned and overwhelmed.
I have immersed myself into the community that helps victims of abuse, continually learning from a different perspective and reaching out to collaborate in solving the problems and providing the right support at the right time. It takes a team to tackle this issue and we, as a community, can not wait for governments to embed policy into the social fabric that delivers protection that is needed today.
I’ve been humbled by the people in the AusMumprenuer community that have reach out, those who have sent congratulatory messages, posted on my facebook and rang me to tell me how proud they are having seen how far I have come.
The road from PSTD to PTS Growth is challenging but worth every minute spent in a therapist chair, every course, every program, every moment spent reading and talking to people as I unlearnt and unpacked the cumulative trauma to find acceptance.
It has cost me dearly and I have changed.
I am calm in the face of chaos, create my own opportunities and make informed choices. I enforce boundaries and have upped my expectations, tolerating but not enabling male primacy. I have been humbled my the men who have apologised. I accept that people will lie, cheat and omit information to protect themselves from judgement, but I don’t accept that I deserve it. I have compassion for those who do not know yet what respect and kindness can achieve. Upstream Investigations is the safe place to share your story without judgement – and expect an objective and honest review.
“SERVICE & SUPPORT”
If you want to see and make an impact consider supporting Upstream Investigations and contact us today, if we can help you, your team, your colleagues, your family contact us here.
We are experienced in Family Violence, Investigations, Safety and Strategy, Conflict Resolution and answering questions like ‘Should I go?’.
We provide the information to give you insight and understanding, we map the evidence and play out the process whilst providing you with a broad range of choices not limited by legislation.
We honour your freedoms and choices and empower you to take and make them.
WORK PLACE ASSESSMENT AND STRATEGY
SITUATIONAL ASSESSMENT AND STRATEGY
